So, recently I decided to get out of my many year long funk by taking a "Yes Man" approach to dating. This lead me down the road to perfect and eternal happiness. As those of you who know me well have already heard - its official - I am engaged.
At this point you're probably thinking, C'mon, you big, fake lying blogger, this is too good to be true! : Well, it is !
But who really wants to hear about all the good dates?
It is all about the awkward, the weird, the dramatic. This is the story of how I met my fiancé. :)
I met a guy (we'll call him Dean). The details of how we met are not really important, but it is however important that you know, that we connected for the first time over email. I was less than excited at the beginning, but I like making friends and luckily got on well with the new guy immediately.
It progressed quite naturally actually, and the emailing turned to chatting, and the chatting into texting, texting turned into calling, and the calling turned into skyping and then went on to meeting. Who doesn't love that "get to know you" stage of a relationship/friendship ?
It is also important that I also tell you that when we first connected, we were approximately 13359.52 kilometers and 11.5 hour time zones apart. But I can assure you that, this did not stand in our way.
So then eventually it moved on to a single phone call. That first phone call is always the deal breaker after all , because how hard is it really for anyone to sound really great over an email ?!?
Dean turns out to be a totally social, party animal - something that is awesome especially since he is also the type who likes to 'immerse himself completely'. But on the flip side he had me waiting about an hour, after which he finally disengages from his party and makes the call. Having spent a couple of years in the UK, this Englishman in Chicago seemed clearly confused about his linguistic orientation, that night. After the initial niceties, I cant event remember what we talked about. I think it was just a long drawn out descriptions about how our days were progressing which was repetitive really, since we had been texting all day anyway. It was awkward to say in the least, and we ended it with him promising to call back the next day. Dean tells me to this day that he believes that it was a good first conversation. This just goes to show how much a glass of wine can alter one's perception of what is happening.
We could not however get on that phone call as promised the next day, because of him being late and over packed for a flight. So I was left gloomy and unsure a wee bit longer.
Having landed in India a day later, we connected on whatsapp, and we continued texting for another 20 days or so. I think we were both too afraid to go back to the awkwardness of a phone conversation. But texting was great. During this time he travels, to Goa, Ladhak ,Delhi, Thirupathi, Chennai and god knows where else and I'm at home in California with my mom breathing down my neck.
It wasn't the best of circumstances but it was great ! He is the most compelling man I have ever met and I could not keep away. We counted the days until he would be back in the continental USA. We talked about everything, our hopes, our past, our dreams and even our separate futures.
THREE months later, we finally met in September of 2012, on a very cold, bright day outside an airport in Texas. I was returning from a vacation of sun bathing and jet skiing in the key west and he from a journey from half way across the world. I was not working that day and neither was he so our very first date was to IKEA. For those of you who are not familiar with it, IKEA is a Swedish furniture retailer, that specializes in selling affordable un-customizable furniture to the masses. Their advertising model is to make you, the consumer, walk through as many unnecessary aisles of furniture as possible. Its safe to say that I was exhausted by the end of the day and fought hard to keep my best face on. We were quick to find each other's "cheap and best" attitude of shopping significantly endearing. Finally squaring away the day's purchases, we went on to dinner at a Gourmet Hot Dog joint, where I was too exhausted to continue a conversation. To make matters worse, I noticed, and he brushed aside, the existence of a cockroach less than 15 feet away. I was petrified and spent the rest of the evening staring at the thing, willing it to disappear. Finally the disastrous dinner ended and we decided to go to Walmart in the middle of the night, because that is always a good idea on a first date, in the middle of the night when you are both exhausted ! Not !
We called it a night soon after and I went to bed recognizing that there was no spark.
The next day I signed into work and spent the day IMing my friends the status. 8 hours and countless lines of code later it was time for dinner. Dinner was supposed to be a solemn affair. An attempt on both our parts to make the best of the current situation. Getting off work at 8 PM CST was less than ideal and I hastened to wash, blow dry and straighten my hair in time to meet him. I emerged a whopping 2 hours later, looking my best to find him asleep. I shook him awake and I was greeted groggily with no visual sign that he recognized my two hour effort of self betterment. Finally heading out we found that most places were either shut down or about to and we could not find a single host, willing to admit us, for a dinner for two, for our very crucial and nerve racking, second date. Finally we found a wine bistro that was open until 11 and I was grateful that my being born with wavy hair, had not significantly altered the course of the rest of my life.
Letting the inert-Gujju in all of us take over, we turned down the waiter's offer of ordering by the glass, and instead ordered by the bottle, a significant quantity of the seemingly innocent looking white wine, some fried chicken for him and half a portion of beet salad for me. I then went on to talking about my family- a long drawn out happy story that showcased me in the best possible light.
Given the meagre proportion of wine to salad, I did not fair well as the night progressed. I even tried to gather myself in the little girl's room. Unable to do so I returned to the table happy, alive and inhibition free and then things got really personal, helping us bond further. It was safe to say that dinner was a smashing success. Never have I been so brazen and so brave. Unwilling to call it a night however we went to the place across the street and continued our candid repertoire and we even got to talking about feelings . All the magic was back. The man I knew and had clearly fallen in love with over the wire was here in front of me and I was feeling attractive, spontaneous, and sought after ! But saying the L-word was of course too much. I trusted him. I wanted to tell him all my dirty dark secrets, I wanted to laugh over all my failings and share all my ambitions. I wanted to bare my soul ! There was talking, a lot of laughing, significant connecting and more than a few tears shed. To say that it was perfect would be to say too little.This continued for the next 5 days and it was just a really good time.
On the fifth dinner date,as I said earlier I have never been more brazen and more spontaneous, I spent the day singing out loud, in front of company, and we went dancing. Our worlds began and ended with each other and I never wanted the night to end.
The next day, my last in Texas, I met him feeling, gloomy, unattractive anxious, hopeful and chlorine smelling to finally have him say the three words I had been longing to hear for over three months. I love you. For the third time in my life I truly witnessed silence. Birds stopped chirping, buses stopped moving, cars stopped revving their engines, even the refrigerator was kind enough to stop its usual hum! And then all of a sudden the world was back and I was in it, and so was he, and I hoped we never had to leave.
I then got on my flight to San Francisco, to continue my humdrum life sans him, because life doesn't wait. A week later he flew into San Francisco. Beautiful, romantic San Francisco, and we did all things Nor-Cal, from spending a day at the beach to ending up in a gay bar with go-go dancers inches from our faces. It was fantastic. The whirlwind continued, significantly as well as literally. I turned 25 and we flew to my favorite place in the whole world- New York, New York. Escaping Sandy in the nick of time, we went back to our separate lives, waiting/ living for the weekends when we could be together.
Finally it was Thanksgiving five uninterrupted days of togetherness- more friends to meet, turkey to eat, shopping to finish, and movies to watch.
On the last night we had together, he took one for the long haul. There were candles, and roses, and limos and even a little snow. On Santana Row, with the world watching, and the most beautiful diamond ring he asked me to marry him.
And I said yes.
The rest is still unwritten :)
